Adjust Your Expectations

Summer is giving me much more time to write, which is making me quite happy. I was thinking today about the friends who I have lost in my life and why it all happened. At the time, of course, I only wanted to take a small chunk of the blame, but a reality check reminds me that I deserve more of the blame than originally thought.

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we'd be willing to do that for them." I love this quote, but it has led to the demise of friendships that were important. My advice today is to adjust your expectations of those you care about.

I think we can all admit our guilt of expecting others to behave in a certain way because that's what we would do, but, ultimately, that is not fair. "I expect/need more from you." How many of you have said this? I know I have. We fault the other person for not giving us what we want or need without questioning whether or not the person was in fact giving all he/she could. This leads to them screaming, "I'm giving all I can," and we are left shouting back, "That's not enough." But, why is all they can give not enough? We have to adjust our expectations. Adjusting doesn't mean accepting less than we deserve. If what the other person is giving is not enough for you, walk away, but stop being so hard on them.

I heard once that some people are pints and others are liters. The people who are liters expect everyone else to be the same. Liters give so much and feel slighted when they only receive pints back in return. There has to come a time when liters realize that not everyone has the giving capabilities as they do. I am a liter, and I have felt this way more times than I care to remember. I lost a friend who was very important to me. I was constantly hurt because I thought I was giving way more than I was receiving. I needed to learn and adjust my expectations of her. It would have made for a much easier time in my life.

Don't expect less for yourself, but adjust your expectations of people if they are not set accurately. Use those expectations to gauge how you will act and react to people. Don't set yourself up for a revolving door of hurt and resentment. :)

Go do great things,

EP