MY Bad

Well, hello! :)

I am not sure who taught me this invaluable life lesson, but I am sure am grateful for it now. I want to talk about apologies. There undoubtedly have been times where you had to give an apology or were owed an apology. It is a part of life. Today, I'd like to focus on the apologies that we must give and touch on their importance to be done correctly.

Here is the apology that makes me want to pluck each tendril from my head: "I am sorry for what I did, but YOU..." Time out. Freeze. Stop right there. At what point did the apology go from being about you to being about me? Why on earth are we incapable of giving an apology that just says what we did wrong? Yeah, I am sure the other person is at fault for something, but let them figure that out. When someone says the dreaded "but you," immediately our ears shut down and our anger rises due to the fact that we are receiving an empty apology. It's like holding out an engagement ring box only to find there is no ring inside. A fake apology does nothing but stir up more trouble. It you're truly upset at what you did or said, then just say that. Pointing the fingers while asking for forgiveness washes away any healing steps that were taken.

When we apologize, we often want immediate gratification--an apology back. We end up hurt if we are not kowtowed to in return. Life doesn't work that way. The best apology is a sincere one. No one wants an "I'm sorry" that holds no remorse for what was done or one that holds no promise. We have to be willing to atone for our mistakes, not for a reciprocation but for our own good. It is human nature to err, but it takes real character and humility to admit when we have wronged another. You also have to be willing to accept the possibility of the apology not fixing the situation. "I am sorry" bandages many issues, but sometimes it can't mend everything. Give the apology and take the response maturely.

There you have it. Repent but repent with sincerity and without expectations of anything in return. Focus on your errors, and never ever throw in the "but you." You're the only one in control of you. It doesn't matter what the other person did. They have to apologize on their own terms. You can't force it. Take ownership of your own actions and fix what you did. :)

Go do good things,

BT